Listening In: Dialogues with the Wiser Self


The following excerpt is from the book Listening In: Dialogues with the Wiser Self by Ellen Meredith, D.A. (written in the voice of her inner teachers)

About Change

I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH DISCIPLINE. IS IT POSSIBLE TO CHANGE MY BAD HABITS?

"Change is not a question of discipline and does not come about in response to rigid rules or resolutions. Change happens organically, in the natural unfolding of events, behaviors, and desires. It happens when each small moment is lived differently, and these small moments accumulate. Change comes about when you are able to shift your balance of needs, desires, and mental understanding of what you need. When you do this you find yourself making very different moment-by-moment choices and decisions. If you wish to do things differently in your life, then you must treat yourself differently--with greater support, tolerance and empathy. As you do this, you will notice the forms which no longer serve you dropping away. You will notice that little by little your uncomfortable circumstances can change...." (p.213)

I HATE MY JOB -- SHOULD I LEAVE IT?

"A job change is sometimes what is called for. But we wish to point out to you all the dimensions of change you might actually be craving. And it is useful to explore which dimensions of your present situation don't work and need to be shifted, so that the new job or pattern is truly a fruitful change. Sometimes it is not just the job which needs to be changed. Other parts of your life may also need some reorganizing or reframing...." (p.219)

HOW CAN I DEAL WITH MY ANGER AND SELF-DESTRUCTIVENESS?

"When you find yourself doing self-destructive acts, it is because there is a pull in you to de-struct, even as there is a pull to construct. So your task is not to fight self-destruction, but rather to give it a healthy outlet. Allow yourself to vent bitter and angry feelings in your journal, then imagine them being dipped in a 'well of resolution' where everything melts down to neutral and becomes plain energy. Take a break from all the constructive plans you have and allow yourself to rest empty, in nothingness for a time, with no thought, no activity or decision required, no expectation. This too is a form of de-(con)struction. Give yourself time to finish and close up old business, throwing away old papers, saying goodbye (at least within yourself) to relationships which no longer serve you...." (p.235)

WHY IS IT THAT NO MATTER HOW HARD I WORK I DON'T FEEL SECURE IN MY LIFE?

"Traditionally when people think of security, they think of having enough money in the bank, owning a comfortable home, gaining assurances that they may continue in their job, knowing that someone will take care of them if they become ill or frail. Yet as we say this, you can probably think of someone who has all these things and yet does not feel particularly secure. You may also know someone who does not have all these things, but who appears nonetheless to be secure."

"Someone who is attuned to her spirit, body and mind, and spends her efforts integrating them, is led from one secure situation to the next. But the security is not a promise of wealth or status or shielding from pain. It is a promise of inner resources to deal with whatever you encounter or create in this life. It is a promise of a sense of inner rightness, and serenity, that goes deeper than any symbol of security such as money or status...." (240;243)

THERE'S SO MUCH STRESS IN MY LIFE. WHAT CAN I DO ABOUT THAT?

"It is not a question of getting rid of stress. Stress is a messenger, and stress is a healthy part of any action. The muscle that tightens to throw a ball is taking on necessary, useful stress. The problem lies with muscles that don't release again. Muscles that are under-used. Muscles that are used incorrectly.

"In dealing with stress, the goal is to harness it and respond to it effectively. To use it as a motivator and messenger, and to find the balance of stress and calm, of build-up and release, which works best for you. It is a matter of responding to the stress with creative uses of your mind, body, resources and imagination...." (p. 251)

Listening In: Dialogues with the Wiser Self